I recently read an article by Adam Roberts of Aeon called “The atheist paradox” that greatly clarified my own reasons for declaring myself agnostic. Certainly his essay is better written, but I thought it may be useful to slightly reframe his revelations; while he discusses these ideas from an atheist point of view, I believe they are even more poignant through the lens of agnosticism.
To me, the beauty of agnosticism is in the unknowing. In declaring that you simply cannot understand the existence of God, you release yourself from the torture of certainty. With certainty comes internal conflict. One cannot be truly certain of anything, much less the existence of a higher power, without the mental gymnastics of religious apologetics. Your life is consumed with justifying your certainty. With agnosticism you can let this go and choose to just live.
And is this not what God would want? When faced with the question “why would God want his creations to believe in him?” it is hard to nail down a good answer. If He is content with His other creations living in ignorance of his existence, should the same not apply to humans? Put more directly: the flight of a bee, the call of a songbird, the leaping of a dolphin; these are how God’s other creations worship Him. By existing in the truest form of his creation. They exalt him with simple adherence to how He made them. They do not consider a higher power. They simply are. Should humans not do the same? This is how an agnostic worships God. With ignorance and in alignment with every other one of God’s creations. They move through the world God created, live and love with the emotions God gave them; but most importantly, they do not confine God.
From the eyes of the agnostic, the greatest folly of man is trying to put God in a box. With each sect of Christianity, doctrine and rules create walls around a being that is supposed to be above us all. By attempting to interpret (and ultimately misinterpret) the will of God we shrink him to the understanding of man. With hubris we even place ourselves above God, nailing him to a cross of 10 commandments and defining His existence through the lens of human understanding. But if He were real, He must be much more than that. But instead of trying to define what that is, the purest way to worship Him must be an embrace of the mysterious Otherness of His existence. To accept the incomprehensibility of His power. To live in accordance with His other creations, as a foolish creature confined to a mortal existence.
Christianity centers around the idea of sacrifice. Perhaps the biggest sacrifice one can make to God is that of your belief in Him. To live humbly as his mortal creation, putting your trust in Him that He is a good God. Only when you release your certainty of His existence can you truly exalt in the life He gave you.